It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Wednesday, December 7

...and, as a holiday gift, the Cubs send the Marlins a lovely meat tray.

The chances that at least one of the three pitchers we have sent to Florida will become a 20-game winner are far more certain than the chance that Juan Pierre will lead us to a pennant. Therefore, in terms of value, the Cubs have far overpaid for the 28-year-old basepath pest. I am bracing myself for the onslaught of fire to come from my more financially-minded brethren in Cub Blog Nation.

To me, it feels like too little too late. If we had managed to sign Furcal AND traded for Pierre, then I would feel much better about the daily duo at the top of the order. I would have the feeling that the Cubs' front office knew what it was doing, that they would stop at noting to win, and that we were destined to salvage something from the Dusty Baker era. With both guys, I would deem the lineup to be Dusty-Proof.

Of course, if we HAD in fact signed Furcal, then the Cubs would appear to be a much larger threat in the NL, and probably Florida would have insisted on even higher stakes for their centerfielder.

I know some of you are going to read this and shout: "Hey, Assrim! You begged for this guy for a year, now he's here, and yer still cryin'? We think you just LIKE being miserable."

Far from it, friends. I want to feel like the Cubs will kick ass and take names in 2006. I want to win, partly to convince Prior and Zambrano and Lee to make this their permanent baseball home, but mostly, because I'm starting to feel pains in my back, and joints, and at times, my chest. I want to see a winner before I kick it.

I just have to call it like I see it, and I honestly feel like Juan Pierre is nothing more than a consolation prize, and the key piece to Plan B.

Let's just see how Dusty, Sarge, and Gene Clines work on this guy, to try to get him to swing for homers, so he resembles Corey Patterson with a crooked hat bill.