9/30/2005 02:09:00 PM by Rob

Illinois High School Football!! (teeny tiny school division)

For them in my neck of the woods, the big barndance is tomorrow afternoon, with Braidwood Reed-Custer taking on Noted Nuisance Wilmington. Both are 4-1 and tied for I-8 honors, and with Coal City laying the wood to Momence 2night, and Plano enjoying a uncontrolled scrimmage in Dwight, the loser must give up any conference champeenship hopes. RC is pulling out ALL the stops, including a tribute to the 1985 state champion baseball team, including former players Brian DuBois (Tigers) and Les Norman (Royals). This will probably be the game of the year in the I-8 for sheer drama.

Morris naturally will leave George Dergo in for another 17 touchdowns tonight. Hey, Derg, it's real tough to run when you got five juiced-up freaks whose Dads conveniently got jobs at the Costco terminal in the offseason...the same terminal owned by several degenerate boosters in a blind trust, the same blind trust that also owns the porn shop and the massage parlor...? Shit, all we got in Coal City is D-Construction and Cardinal Transport, not that we ever...

...what? We have two transfers starting on the line? OK, I'll shut up.

Over in Corn Hole, our boys are girding their loins to do battle with the Rochelle Hubs, who are going to be in a real FINE mood after losing three straight games. At 2-3, needing three more wins in the next four games to make the playoffs, and ending the year at Geneseo...it is safe to say that the Trojans AREN'T gonna be overlooked tonight. Hall has to go all the way to Kewanee to whip their butts, and Rock Falls has to go all the way to Princeton to get THEIR butts whipped. And they can't even count on a nice post-game meal at the Culver's there, since it is the WORST Culver's I have EVER been to, even outdistancing the Morris Culver's, which sucks fat dog dick.

Who is JCA playing THIS week, CT? The girls team from Maryville, who have the added pressure that if they lose, they'll get raped by the counselors? Guess them counselors are ensuring that they won't get to enter the priesthood. After all, the church looks down on the assault of young girls. Anyway, whoever it is, take JCA and the 47 points.

Put on yer sweaters tonight, kids, and enjoy some exciting Friday Night pigskin ack-ack-ack-tion.

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