9/06/2005 11:56:00 AM by Rob

Idiots on Parade

Of course, Baker, Hendry, and Kanye West, and (for once) NOT Jesse Jackson

Was yesterday the first time Jerry Hairston missed a signal?

I really doubt it. So why, now, do we have to hear about it? And Jerry, only to compound his own stupidity, decides to fire back and assert that "we didn't lose the game on the missed signal." Oh, really? So, you had time between the moment you walked into the clubhouse and the time the reporters came calling, to unravel the whole thread of the ballgame, and you can say for certain that the rally you helped sink in the 8th wasn't your fault whatsoever?

Seems like an awful lot of thought for a brain-damaged cakeboy from Naperville WHO CAN'T EVEN FUCKING REMEMBER THE SIGNS!!

So whose fault is it that we have players who may have physical talents, but who do not fundamentally know how to play baseball? I mean, I understand that baseball isn't as popular amongst kids now as it was 30 years ago, and probably when the young Jerry Hairston, Jody Gerut, or Todd Walker went outside to play, it was probably to play hoops, football, or God forbid, soccer. But assuming half of major league rosters are currently foreign-born, half of 30*25 is around 400 players, and do you mean to tell me that there weren't 400 kids in our school systems 10-15 years ago that liked baseball more than the other sports?

I guess it is a manager's job to cover his players' asses sometime, and I guess he's finally sick of it, because he's finally realized it isn't doing any good. But once again, Dustbin, consistency is the key, and aren't YOU being inconsistent now, all of a sudden, you're not a "players manager" anymore? It's too late, too late. And shame on you, too, Hendry. If this was all you could get for Sosa, fine. Then cut his stupid, no-sign-reading ass.


Let's talk about Kanye West for a minute.

Even in the land of the talentless, this guy takes the cake. I am NOT the typical 40 year old white guy who can't stand rap: hell, I was one of the first wanna-be's, rockin' Run-DMC and LL Cool J when the rest of my white adolescent friends were laughing at me over the top of their Ozzy and Iron Maiden blaring from their stolen car stereos. From what I understand about rap, it has to be three characteristics: 1) IT has to follow the beat; 2) IT has to rhyme; and 3) IT has to have a purpose of some sort.

This Kanye West guy, he's winning Grammies and making kajillions of dollars, enjoying critical acclaim, and FOR WHAT?? He fucking SUCKS!! He slurs everything he says, he doesn't rhyme, he don't even attempt to follow his own beat, mumbling incoherently free-form about next to nothing, and THIS is the BEST fucking talent we have to offer???

Anyway, all that being said, I agree 100% with what he says. In fact, Jesse Jackson, Professional Tool, manages to get it said without pissing anyone off. I don't care if I wouldn't trust Jesse to wipe my ass. Fuck George Bush and fuck the federal response to the flooding.

But Kanye, look, for whatever God-forsaken reason, you were given a golden opportunity to say something and to make a difference. For some reason, you are held with high esteem, and what did you do? Did you rise above, did you earn your title? Nah, you fuckin' blew it.

Look, dude. You can THINK it all you want. I think it, too. But, in front of America, isn't the time to say it. Would I have said it when I was 25, given the opportunity? Maybe. Would I say it now? No, not like that.

Why? It's all timing, kid. Think about it...doesn't George Bush represent "whitey"? And who's behind the camera, who's in the control booth? Whitey? You need to use your head, be more clever than that. You talk like a punk, you go out like a punk. It's one thing to feel something.

It's another thing to go running headlong into a brick wall.

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