6/21/2005 10:02:00 AM by Rob

The mysteries of life that keep us awake at night

In a nation at war, with oil prices that show no intention of falling, on a web site that follows a spectacularly mediocre baseball club, where there is available help and their pockets are bursting full of the young arms everyone desperately covets, there is one agonizing thought running over and over across my mind...

WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GIRL IN THE MERCURY MARINER COMMERCIAL???

Well, who would know, but me? Her name is Jill Wagner, and the reason why most of us didn't recognize her is that we never watched "Punk'd!", that piece-o-shit show on MTV where Ashton Kutcher wears his farmer cap funny and plays improbable pranks on his dumbfuck celebrity friends. See, the target demo for the teeny tiney SUV watches Punk'd, and they KNOW who Jill Wagner is. Her and her tight-ass clingy top, that just makes her mams look enormous...

If you need to see more of her, she did a layout in Stuff magazine, so unless you're at work and have o' them fucked-up fun blockers, go laugh at her "outfit" and if I helped just ONE of you extract the poisons in your system today, then I'm down with that.

20 off of the Rio

Seether - Veruca Salt
Humans Being - Van Halen
Sister Havana - Urge Overkill
Hymn - Ultravox
Boogie Oogie Oogie - A Taste of Honey
Pure Energy - Information Society
One Simple Thing - Stabilizers
Romanticide - Combo Audio
Sausilito Summer Nights - Diesel
Never Been Any Reason - Head East
Smalltown Boy - Bronski Beat
I Could Be Good For You - 707
Every Day Is Halloween - Ministry
When the Heart Rules the Mind - GTR
Spirits In the Night - Manfred Mann
Drivers Seat - Sniff 'n' the Tears
Girl In Trouble - Romeo Void
Ready To Go - Republica
Lunatic Fringe - Red Ryder
Say It Isn't So - The Outfield

BTW: if you can help me with who sang a song either called "I'm Alive" or "No Turning Back", I'd make it worth yer while.

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