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Thursday, April 14

Big Northside Revival Meeting

For various reasons, I make it a point not to refer you, my legions of readers, over to The GoatRiders, but today I can't really add much more to what is being said and read there, complete down to the totally sacriligeous "Book of Dustraham" or whatever Kurt attributes his heathen versillitude as.

For yea, the masses' hearts are of at rest, after witnessing the first coming of the great Francheezie yesterday, for he was of the Francheezie of Old, and yea, it was good. Alleluia. Amen. But what about the Erstwhile Kid K, the second most Overrated sports figure in Chicago, after his manager?

(Oh, and I suppose I oughta give some love to Dusty for rubbing Prior with Holy Pope Water. If he hadn't, Prior would have given up 2 dongs to Geoff Blum, too, Yep, that's the truth).

Perhaps the Cubs know what we all SHOULD know: that the only people who think in the year 2005 that Kerry Wood is an Ace pitcher write for the Tribune. Does he suck? No. Is he talented? Yes, scarily so. Has he been fucked over time and time again by LaTroy Hawkins, AlFuckSucka, Gaguilera, etc? Sure, he has.

Is he inconsistent, injury prone, mechanically unsound, hard-headed and at this point in time, perhaps questioning his own self a little? Oh, yes. For every 20-K game, every one-hitter, every playoff win in Atlanta, we have just as many playoff losses against Florida, and games where he digs us such a hole in the first inning like yesterday.

I'm not saying he's the dress wearing, bullpen-searching Matt Clement. But due to his own limitations, both mental and physical, history will show that Kerry Wood was a innings-eater at best, a .500 starting pitcher, and a man who has been singled out by more than one longtime baseball guy as the next Eckerseley.

So, now that we know this, let's put him in the #5 hole, where he belongs, and figure out whether the 4th starter is named Dempster, Rusch, Guzman, Brownlie, or maybe is on another team right now.

Because if we are waiting for Kerry Wood to carry us, we'd be better off waiting for the Brown Line renovations to be completed.