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Thursday, February 17

What they aren’t saying about SamMe Sosa

What did Mark Prior say about SamMe: “Obviously, it’s better for all involved that he isn’t here…he was the face of the Cubs for so many years, you know, some years where they weren’t going good.”
What DIDN’T Mark say: “I wasn’t on, and had no part in, the losing Cub teams.”
What ELSE didn’t he say: “Sammy Sosa is a loser.”

What did Todd Hollandsworth say about Sammy Sosa: “There won’t be any extenuating circumstances hanging over us this year.”
What DIDN’T Todd say: “Sammy was a distraction.”
What else didn’t he say: “I should get more playing time this year.”

What did Carlos Zambrano say about SamMe: “Don’t ask me. Ask Dusty, ask Hendry, go to Baltimore and ask Sammy.”
What DIDN’T Carlos say: “Sammy was the Man amongst us Latins, him and Moises, so it kind of sucks to see him gone. However I feel about him, I don’t want to be on record saying anything bad about him, because this is a small world, and it would get back to him, and I don’t want one of his brothers flying over to my house in Venezuela, to fuck with my wife and kids.”
What ELSE didn’t Carlos say: “I still don’t like giving interviews.”

What did Kerry Wood say about Sammy Sosa: nothing.
What DIDN’T Kerry say: “When he was still with us this winter, I went out of my way to assure one and all that we would be as professional about it as we could, even if he was still with us in 2005. I have said all I am going to say about it, and even though he is gone, I am sticking to my story.”
What ELSE didn’t he say: “I smashed his mother-fucking boombox, and I wish it was his head!!”

What did Dusty Baker say about SamMe: nothing, either.
What DIDN’T Dusty say: Everything.
What SHOULD Dusty have said: “This is my team now, and we will win or lose with the team on the field now. Dude.”
What should Dusty have REALIZED: “It’s all up to me. No excuses, no distractions, nothing is left from before me. I better win, or else. Dude.”

What did Kyle Farnsworth say yesterday: “Phew!! This skank don’t clean her snack bar!”
What should Kyle be saying: “I throw 102 mph, yet they traded me for Bo Flowers, and they were damn happy to do so? I must really be a dickhead!”