11/04/2004 08:17:00 AM by Rob

I saw Blacks voting for Bush

When it became clear that the majority of voters in the State of Ohio had voted for Dubya, I took to bed, and did not stir until pretty much now. I currently feel like the shell of a Sloth, like my guts had been scooped out with a hand trowel, and it isn't just the lack of a flu shot, or the rumor that Nomar might want to go play second for the Steingrabber, that is causing me to feel this way.

Once again, I qualify my statements by stating that I am NOT a political expert. Perhaps there were grave tactical errors committed by the Democratic Party or by its candidate for president. Maybe it was because George-n-Laura make a cuter couple than Bassett Hound-n-Ketchup Face.

If you voted for Bush because he's better looking than Kerry, you're an ass, but you're better off than people who used another rationale for voting for him.

It appears that the single greatest factor in Bush's favor this year is "moral issues".

MORAL ISSUES??? MORAL ISSUES??!?!?! Goddamnit son-of-a bitch cocksucking motherfucking dumb shit white trash baby fucking hillbillies???? I saw BLACKS voting for a man who doesn't give a fig SHIT about them, because "he's a God-fearing man".

Yes, Bush GOES TO CHURCH, and sucks evangelist dick, and takes their money. He's from Texas, which seems like a more "down-home" place than Massachussetts.

He goes to church, like a lot of other HYPOCRITES I know, like both of my ex-wives. He goes to church, but he sends thousands of our young people in harm's way so that his rich petrochemically-connected friends, like Dick Cheney, can make billions rebuilding what our military tears up.

Oil is $55 a barrel. Fuckers like me, who commute to work, are feeling the pinch. Who's swimming in gravy right now? Yep, Big Motherfucking Oil, all over Texas, fatasses are buying new steer-horns for their Cadillacs right now, because they're flush. And their bestest, most connected buddy, Mr. President, has four more years to sell us out.

Thanks, America. If you voted for Bush, you let someone else do your heavy intellectual lifting for you. You let someone tell you that a man with oily money in his pockets, and blood on his hands, was the better man.

Next time some sand monkey blows up another building, beheads another hostage in an orange jumpsuit, or causes another flight to be cancelled because he sneezed funny, and you want to bitch and moan about WHOSE FAULT IT IS, it's yours, you pisssucking twat, for not using your brain for anything more than storing yummy chicken recipes that involve Miracle Whip.

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