11/12/2004 03:37:00 PM by Rob

Alright, alright, some Cub content, then...

Seems that Sam-Me wasn't the only moron taking the last day of the year off. Yep, this is probably old news for you by now, but Kyle Farns #44 obviously decided that the last day wasn't worth getting up for, and so he decided to sleep in a little more, with hopes that when the travel agent from Berwyn he picked up the night before finally woke up from her drunken coma, she might be persuaded to stick her ankles up around her earlobes one more time.

I mean, you know, after she takes a piss, and gargles.

I'm waiting for someone to play the Race card. Sosa plays hooky and catches hell...Farns does the same, and nothing happens? Well, there are several major differences here:

1) Sam wears the 'C' on his sleeve: Farns wears women's garters under his tight trou
2) Sam is a Warrior, a Gladiator: Farns has never made such wild-ass pronouncements
3) Sam is actually doing all the bitching about being disrespected: Farns is probably buried so deep in stewardi right now, he could give a SHIT less about sports
4) Sam acts like he owns the place. Farns probably doesn't even OWN a boombox
5) Farns is gone, it's just a matter of to whom. He's extremely tradeable. Sosa is an $36 million albatross around the Tribune's neck.

So Farnsworth blew off the last day? Good. So did Sam-me? No wonder we won.

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