6/16/2004 09:24:00 AM by Rob

Redemption - nothing feels better

First of all, thank you to Lance Berkman, Ramon Martinez, and everyone else who contributed to the ninth-inning comeback last night. After having to endure years of raw naked unabashed man-lust for the AssTrolls by Chip (Biggio) and Stoney (their bullpen), it was so unbelieveably liberating to finally get over on them in the ninth inning.

It was a beautiful thing, and it was as close as I have come to crying for joy in watching a Cub game. I didn't have the opportunity to watch Kerry's 20K day. I may have cried that day, if I had. Last night was THAT good.

Redemption is an ancient human theme. A man can be ridiculed by so many for his actions, and more importantly for those who think and feel, for his beliefs. To finally rise above, to hear once and for all that he is right and just in his best efforts, may possibly be the most gratifying thing there is in life.

Two more stories have come up today that have provided me with the warmest glow of reassurance, that I am NOT crazy, mis-informed, or stupid.

The first is from the world of sports and academia. I HATE Gary Barnett, the carpet-bagging coach of Colorado's football team. Chicagoans were treated to two-sidedness in its lowest, most festering order when he ditched his so-called beloved Northwestern Wildcats to take his "dreeeeem job" in Colorado.

We all know what has happened there, under his watch, ever since. It was incredulous that he was merely suspended, not fired, after his utter insensibility in dealing with women alleging sexual misconduct against members of HIS team.

There are few who are close enough to the program who can vouch for the character of the accusers. Perhaps, as Barnett has said, they were all drunken groupies. Even if they were, do you actually come out and SAY IT? In THESE times? How can you be so arrogant?

It is painfully obvious that, at the very least, he should be dismissed. In fact, it is clear to me that the whole management structure there is dysfunctional, completely lacking real world perspective. But whenever I suggest that the U. of Colorado needs an enema, the more LIBERAL acquaintences of mine point out that nobody has been charged, so nobody needs to lose their job, etc.

I could not believe it when he was reinstated! What kind of spinning bozo would put this guy back at the helm of the program? Well, obviously, Betsy Hoffmann, President of the BangBus, thinks so.

Is she a loony? Well, as you all know, the Uncouth Sloth does NOT shy away from obscenity, sometimes to the point of utter foulness. But there is ONE word that even I, purveyor of fine filth, will not touch. But Betsy thinks its a term of endearment!

THAT is the kind of person who wants a arrogant, two-faced, woman-hating carpet bagger coaching HER team. What is with this cookie? What do you suppose has happened in HER love life where she thinks being called a Key-yunt is sweet? Now, I just just imagine her being twisted around like a pretzel, while some vile, smelly chain-smoking beret-wearing sadist shoves a plunger handle in and out of her ass like an oil derrick.

Whew. She's wack, and I told you so.

Next, let's look at the latest national effort to ensure our security. You know, the one that has burned hundreds of BILLIONS of dollars that we don't have, has cost us nearly 1,000 brave soldiers, and is completely and utterly UNAPPRECIATED by the so-called liberated party.

The 9/11 Commission has just ruled that there was NO link between Saddam's Iraq and Al Qaida.

So why are we there, because it sure isn't to keep US safe? There were no WMD, there is no proof that they had ANYTHING to do with 9/11. How DARE I suggest that we are only there to clear Daddy's name, to finish Daddy's work. I think the Bushes are up to their eyeballs in Big Oil, and somehow, someway, Saddam and OPEC fucked them over somehow, and this is a bidness deal, no more, no less, and we're doing it on OUR dime, using the very lives of OUR troops.

Support our troops. Do NOT support Bush. And all of you who wrote me on the basis that we are trashing Iraq in the name of protecting our precious babies, you can all line up in front of my grey house in beautiful bucolic Corn Hole, IL, after work tonight, and suck my dick.

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