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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Tuesday, June 15

Random disjointed thoughts for today

Word of advice for today: when in a restaurant, make sure all your food is thoroughly cooked. If you lust for rare bloody meat, you're probably best to satisfy your urge AT HOME, when you know exactly how old the meat is, and where its been.

Or else, you can sit at home on a Tuesday, running to the can every 15 minutes. At the very least, you'd think I'd look thinner. No such luck.

I think most of you know that this isn't the place to go for puffy-chested gloating about wins in June. Last night was huge, yes. Prior bounced back strong from his last pathetic outing; Rapin' Roger got his ass handed to him; and we started this big 4-game series in the JuiceBox in the right direction. All relevant members of the bullpen were free to spit seeds, give hotfoots, bang fat chicks (Farnsworth only) or do whatever they do while relaxing and recuperating. It was huge.

Unfortunately, this is a long season, we're still not in first place, and we haven't gotten into a winning rhythm yet. Although, 3 in a row is a good start.

Tonight is interesting. There have been stories about minor discomfort felt by the Zamboni. Of course, he's not going to sit down. Hopefully he can pitch tonight without any major pain issues. It gets me thinking, though. What if he was signed to a long-term deal, like Prior or Wood? Once he said he was in pain, do you think the team would have shut him down, too? This fits under my theory, because Zambrano, as valuable as he is, is not yet a long term risk. HE makes the standard major league tender for someone in his third year. Is he hurting any less than Wood or Prior were? How come he isn't being shelved for six weeks?

Good lord, I don't WANT to see him on the shelf. But it just smacks of a double standard, to me. Not a racial double standard...just one between the big contracts and small ones.

Desipio IS having a ball because it is starting to become more and more likely that Chip Caray will soon be an ex-Cubs broadcaster. I mean, if the corn pone act was coming from someone who REALLY remembered Pearl Harbor, then it's fine. It's good. I guess if the model for young sportscasters is the ESPN SportsComedy model, then the fact that Chip rejects it isn't a bad thing. We just want our announcers to be themselves, to be comfortable to listen to.

If THAT is just Chip being himself, then that's scary, and he should go into another line of work that has much less public exposure. Mortician would work. Crossing guard. Pharmacist. Researcher in a cancer lab.

Just get out of my color TV, squirrel boy.