6/04/2004 02:04:00 PM by Rob

Japanese butter dogs

While I sit here holding my breath, waiting to see if Today's Mark Prior is going to be the Savior or the Greek Tendon Tragedy:

Let's talk about the Japanese Butter Dogs. Seems that bestiality videos are, strangely enough, more accepted in Nippon than they are here.

The "butter dogs" are so named, because there is a whole genre of Japan porn where butter is strategically placed near a woman's "fertile crescent", and then the hounds are unleashed...while the American porn industry is racked with concern over HIV, their Japanese counterparts are worried about how FAT their butter dogs are getting. So the porn samurai are substituting lower-fat foodstuffs, like yogurt, which the dogs accept just as readily.

There's a Ron Jeremy joke in here somewhere.

All porn tends to have a degrading aspect to it: facials, ATMs, etc. But Japanese porn really stresses the degradation, making it the central aspect in the object. Bukkake is supposedly brought down from feudal times (which, in Japan, was anytime before 1850) to mimic a common punishment for adulterous women. These harlots were supposedly tied up in the town square, and all the menfolk in town would line up to bust a nut in her face. The theory was, if one man isn't good enough for her, then what the hell, let everyone have their turn, and get it out of the way.

The whole butter dog thing seems just as degrading, if not worse. There is a real caste system working there: everyone is born to a numbered level of respectability. First class citizens, second class citizens...and I can't imagine which number the Japanese porn sluts lie in: thirty-fourth?

What does this have to do with the Cubs? Not much, unless it helps to explain what Derrek Lee's father, the Cubs' Pacific Rim (?) Scouting coordinator, Leon Lee, was doing when he waved his huang in some chick's face...was it in Japan, or back here?

You can see the difference it makes.

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