It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

The Sloth is not intended for younger or sensitive readers!

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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Monday, June 28

Bright shiny future

DesPlaines, IL - The Uncouth Sloth is in temporary hiatus, deep in thought at a JavaScript class, which holds the promise of an exciting, good looking, interactive product from here on out.

When reached in his stuffy, sweaty classroom, Sloth was asked about the weekend series with the Sux, and the obviously negative results.

He thought briefly, and calmly spoke, "There is no excuse that I can offer for the fact that we are far closer to Milwaukee than we are to St. Louis, not just geographically, but in the standings. It appears that the Cardinals are simply better than us. Maybe Sammy is about ready to pop about two weeks of hot-dark-man slugging, that we can ride on."

"I do not have a clue how the Brewers are winning games, just as I have no clue about the Reds. Well, I know the Reds can score runs, but who knew that some of these guys could even find the plate, let alone throw balls over it? Same thing with the Brew Crew. I am worried about both teams right now, in addition to the AssTrolls and the Evil Satanic Fowl."

"Right now, we are not good enough to win in the playoffs. And while the AssTrolls get Beltran, and the Sux overpay for Freddy Garcia, we are just sitting here, waiting for Wood, like some fat hairy mope who doesn't remember whether or not he took his Viagra."

The Sloth should be up and totally operational on Thursday.

No truth to the rumor that he fell into a deep crevasse leading to hell, left over by the Great Ottawa Earthquake, and bumped into Leo Durocher, wearing goat horns, on his way down.