It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Wednesday, June 30

The Beege really sucked last night

Hey, Beege? Wipe the KY jelly off your hands before returning to work!

Beege? Vaseline is only good on skin, not on leather!

Yo, Bee-gee-oh? Tell them to let you play a position you're good over!!

OMG, that was RICH! Moises Alou, who incidentally hasn't done SHIT since Sam-Me returned to the lineup, reached out for another pop-up. With two outs, everyone on base was running hard, and it appeared that the newly installed AssTrolls left fielder had overrun the ball.

Biggio in his long and illustrious career has caught, played second, then center field, now he's trying to be a corner outfielder. When he was in center, he dealt with balls hit squarely, thus very few of them will "tail-off" like the ball that Alou hit last night.

If he wasn't BEE-GEE-OH, if he wasn't the gay love interest of Chip and Stoney, if he wasn't chosen as a superior second baseman to (my dearly beloved) Ryno by Bill James in his Baseball Abstract, if he wasn't completely washed up and living solely off of his reputation, if he was almost anyone else not named Barry, I would feel a little sorry for him for getting jacked around like he has by his knee-jerk management team.

He's the worst left fielder in baseball right now.

That having been said, just watch him come out tonight and stick it right up our ass.

The AssTrolls are fucking STUPID for selling off their bullpen, for what might only be a few months of Carlos Beltran. He might drive in all the runs in the world, but if you don't have the ability to trot out Wagner and Dotel anymore, it might not matter.