1/17/2006 12:48:00 PM by Rob

Six Degrees of Chuck

Thank God Petra Nemcova survived the Asian tsunami last year.

During the Hank White Fan Club meeting Friday night at the CubsCon, Andy asked T. J. Brown and I what Chuck was like. Chuck, the proprietor of "Ivy Chat", is a neighbor of sorts with T. J., and I have had several lunches with the gentleman. All Andy knows Chuck as is the Guy Who Hates Corey, the guy who frequently picks fights with several of the more financially-challenged patrons of the Desipio Message Board, and the contrarian who sometimes is the only guy who quashes our enthusiasm about some chick the rest of us think is hot. Chuck, as you might imagine, is just a well-groomed Jewish guy with a fairly hot wife who is actually deaf, so she doesn't have to listen to his shit if she doesn't want to.

Of course, we kid because we care. He himself knows he way outkicked his coverage.

Anyway, both of us observed that he seems well-connected. At least, he gives you the impression that he is. He's definitely one of those "Don Zimmer? Yeah, my neighbor's daughter's husband used to walk his dogs when he was a kid" kind of guys.

We love him, we need him, we got to got to got to have more of him, so every day, I'm going to include the "Six Degrees of Chuck" on every post, to the best of my recollection from my conversations with him. I know you all will now read each and every one of my posts, front to back, to discover the connection between the main character and Mr. Chuck Gitles, Banker, School Board Member, Cub Fan and Mensch.

Let's try one out...suppose I write 350 words about Marv Levy, the 97-year-old Chicagoan who once again is working for the Buffalo Bills as their Head of Football Operations.

I seem to recall that Chuck's dad's dentist used to go to temple with Marv's brother.

But imagine if I wrote several paragraphs about Joey "the Clown" Lombardo, longtime fugitive from the law that was brought to justice over the weekend?

Well, One of Chuck's big clients at the bank has a plant in the same neighborhood as the Clown's redi-mix plant, and his client's sister once dated the Clown's brother for seven months. The families used to have block parties together in Melrose Park.

So, until I run out of recollections, or until Chuck tries to stab me with a cast-iron menorah sharpened to the tips, we'll examine the Six Degrees. Aloha!

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