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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Monday, January 9

Is this the end of the Rally Fisch?

Tell me, what does her persistent wearing of pearl necklaces say to you? Think mama likes it when you nutt all over her chest?

Corey Patterson is gone, and small wonder. In the end, all the Great Jim Hendry got for him is a mediocre SS prospect and a pitcher who has made it all the way to low Class A after only six years in their organization! Every year, we look forward to the Trade That Hendry Has To Make, and this goose cooked himself the day he claimed that nobody in the organization ever told him to cut down on his swing, or widen his stance. I mean, I'm willing to believe the power trio of Dusty, Sarge, and Gene Clines may have forgotten to pass such wisdom on to Young Corey, but I'm pretty sure I have seen in print the exhortations of several Cub employees in the past, whereupon he was asked to do just that. It may have been pre-Dusty, who knows? But I know I've seen it.

So Corey is a stinkin' liar, and of course, the true tragedy of it all is NOT that MacFail and Hendry strung us along for years, "waitin' for Corey and Hee Seop Choi". It turned out that Choi has holes in his swing big enough to drive a Hyundai through, and that Corey made the Great Swinging Sammy look like the paragon of patience in the batter's box.

The tragedy is not that Patterson is going to go on to fame and fortune for some other less deserving group of fans. If he even reaches the potential of the great Gary Mathews (Junior), then I for one will be pleasantly surprised.

No, the tragedy is that the cutie-sweet attainable-hot Gail Fischer is probably going to be breaking her contract with Comcast for an assignment in Baltimore soon.