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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Wednesday, November 30

A rare money-making tip from the Sloth

The Packers are 2-9, the Bears are 8-3. The Pack have lost several winnable games, the Bears have won several losable games. If EVER there was a time when the betting line would be inflated in the Bears' favor, that time is Today.

The Packers are GETTING seven points.

Jeebus H. Breakdancing Christ...I am currently trying to convince my lovely, money-conscious wife that it would be worth taking a quick signature loan from our bank to pound Green Bay as hard as possible.

When it comes to Pro Football, I am as bad a bandwagon jumper as any of your Latent White Sox fans. I think the Bears will win 9-7, scoring on a Mike Brown interception return, and a late safety as Brett (get out the fork) Favre tries one of his half-ass flip laterals to Samkon Gado in the end zone after a Brad Maynard punt is downed at the one.

But the chances of the Bears scoring 8 more points than the Packers this week are as remote as my somehow taking a wrong turn in a Chicago snowstorm, pulling into the lobby of a Courtyard by Marriott, and somehow bumping into Claire Danes and Alyson Hannigan, and being invited into their room for a scorching three-way.

Bet the House, Sloth fans. You're welcome.