11/10/2005 01:33:00 PM by Rob

I'm old, painfully old, brutally old!

Two in the pink, one in the stink?

In a scientific survey taken at work today, 0 out of 5 of us knew what the "shocker" was. My son has been doing this gesture to me for months, now, smiling evilly, and I figured there was some kind of joke behind it, but thanks to good old Richard Roeper, I'm in on it now, and thanks to your friendl purveyor of fine filth, soon so you will be.

The "shocker" is a hand gesture as illustrated not so much by JC, but much better by the UIC bimbos below. Basically, and I have sat here for over 5 minutes with my hand in the "ring-finger down" formation, and have twisted my arm repeatedly and uncomfortably, but this is supposed to represent a method of female sexual stimulation. It appears the two fingers are inserted in the coin slot, and the pinky is stuck in the cleanout chute, as it were.

I personally do not feel that the pinky is going to contribute much to the party, but that could be because I have abnormally small fingers on my abnormally small hands for someone with 37 inch sleeves. I can't get any good lateral motion going with my pinky, while still maintaining some sort of movement with my forefingers. I guess, myself, I'd opt for a glowing buttplug or a spiny tikkler if that's what gets mama going.

Oh yeah, you thought I forgot the 2 vs. 15 matchup?

The 15 seed, Elisa Donovan, from "Clueless", vs the 2 seed, Nikki Cox, and if you don't know what Nikki Cox has been in, then, hell, you and me can't share a pizza and a pitcher.

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