11/29/2005 03:40:00 PM by Rob

The Four Letter Sports Network dot com reports...

Jayson Stark reports that Hendry and his legions were wining and wining Rafael Furcal this weekend, and that the Cubs are regarded as the front-runners for his services.

Well...excuse me for not being completely estatic.

He IS the leadoff man I've been thumping for, having him means we WON'T have to see Neifi Perez stride to the dish 500 times this year, and if we really DO trade Todd (Mr. Microphone) Walker for Milton (Water Cooler) Bradley, that means that Ronny Cedeno will get to play, and we'll have our very own psychotic lunatic for the outfield. Hey, it worked for Jurassic Carl and the White Sox!

But I'm just a little depressed when we're pinning our entire hopes for next year and beyond on a documented alcoholic who drives more on the sidewalk than on the pavement. Am I just to simply accept that HIS evil is far lesser than a Steroidal Cheat or a Wife Beater or a Convicted Gambler or Todd Hundley?

Well, yeah, he's better than the Turd. I just wish he were a more complete player, and person, and thus a more comprehensive answer to what ails the Cubs.

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