It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

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Thursday, August 11

Things to do besides watch the Cubs

Watch the Food Network!

I'm NOT shitting you. I've already spent at least one wad on the girlish charms of a Rachael Ray.

Set yer TiVo's for "Everyday Italian", with Giada DiLaurentiis. She's a little bit o' hell, her own self. Frequently, she chooses to wear tight t-shirts when doing her thang in the kitchen. But that ain't even the best thing.

Just sitting here thinking about her and her show is literally making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. First off, she has the MOST hypnotic voice...and she isn't all "energy" when she films her show. She's nice, and steady, she never yells BAM! at you or anything like that.

Second, rather than filming her show on videotape, as most of them do, her show is stored on plain old film, and it has that kind of dreamy feel, like the edges have been smoothed off. The whole effect is absolutely hypnotic. Aaaahhhhhh.

My wife always wants to turn the show off, because Giada's always making something out of artichokes, olives, or something else that Wendy calls "foofy". But I ain't watching for the recipes, honey, and I'm not even watching her cleavage, which for what it is, is alright. Nothing major. I'm just in a trance, and I'm imagining I'm lying in a kitchen sink, with warm water washing over me, and Giada's handling me, trying to peel my skin....