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Thursday, August 25

The panel is in an uproar over Todd Walker

First of all, a 16-year-old, red-headed actress named Scout, who was in something called "Sleepover", has "disappeared" and is considered missing. She sometimes goes by the nickname "Desiree", and the only reason why she is considered missing is that she was to have travelled from a shoot in New Jersey to a casting meeting in Toronto, and she never made it.

All of you who immediately thought of me when this came up should be ASHAMED of yourselves. Even the most leisurely routes between Jersey and Toronto do not run anywhere near my home in Corn Hole. I suppose if I stuck with my net personna, I would have every scene of "Sleepover" digitally saved, and altered with my image juxtaposed every which way between Scout and Alexa Vega, the "Spy Kids" girl.

Wait. Strike that. Maybe Alexa Vega WASN'T in "Sleepover". Never mind.

Anyhoo, Todd Walker. All I can say for him is, like the little girl with the blond curl, when times are good, he is very good, and when times are bad, he is horrid. I understand he has sucked to all hell the past few weeks. He is emotional, not the most stable element on the big chart. He is no team leader, but then again, I didn't assert yesterday that he was. Helllll no.

As the GM, you have to approach 2006 as if you will be GOOD. It's not the same situation as, say, 1999, when they had Grace, Sosa, and 23 holes to fill. Whether your optimism is founded in reality, or not, based on exactly HOW they fill the holes they currently have, you have to approach next year with optimism. It isn't a complete rebuild. If you can fill two outfield positions, a starting pitcher, a few bullpen arms, a healthy, non-mediocre shortstop, and have ONE of the above also bat leadoff, chances are decent that the Cubs'll be decent.

In which case, I still contend Walker ain't a bad guy to have, and he's one less hole to fill. Thus freeing time and cash resources for chasing down the Juan Pierres and A. J. Burnetts of the world.

I take the precaution to damn him with the faintest of praise, but if the creek's risin', and the good Lord's willin', I'd keep him.