It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

The Sloth is not intended for younger or sensitive readers!

Illini Basketball
Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Tuesday, August 9

Disaster Avoided

Today's blog will be one for the time capsule.

Today, NASA successfully landed the Space Shuttle after first delaying the landing for one full day, then changing the landing strip from the East Coast to the West Coast.

First of all, I guess we can't bitch about being caught in a landing pattern for an hour or so anymore. These poor schmucks had to deal with circling around for a whole day before they got to touch down. Secondly, I guess we also cannot bitch about the gate our plane rolls up to anymore. Suppose these astronauts had their families waiting to pick them up at NASA in Florida, and now they're being told they're landing in California? That's pretty far out of the way.

Nearly 30 years since the Space Shuttle program started, and we still can't routinely land them. This project is dragging on longer than Corey Patterson's education of the strike zone. Pull the Plug!

Disaster Revisited

Today marks the 60th anniversary of the Atomic Bomb being dropped on Nagasaki. We still remain the only country on the planet to lob nukes on our enemies. Yet our government still sees itself as a benevolent entity, the big shoulder for the world to lean on. However, I'm sure Japan doesn't see us that way, even now.

I'm sure Afghanistan and Iraq don't see us that way, nor does any other Islamic nation in the world. There's been, what, a few hundred suicide bombings committed by Muslims in the past couple of years. Do you suppose, if we WEREN'T occupying Iraq, that these would still have happened?

Now, we have a Carlos Zambrano look-alike in Venezuela, who calls himself the leader of the nation, who insists that we want to invade HIS country. Look, duuude, we don't want to do that. Kids might get hurt, then we won't be able to sign them as free agents for our baseball teams.

Disaster Looms

This is a picture of the girl my sixteen year old son was with last night. She's a cousin of one of his friends. Think I should be worried? I mean, she's probably on the pill, right?

Disaster Overwhelms

The afore-mentioned Corey Patterson, he of the unbalanced stance and unbalanced mind, is being brought back to the big club in hopes that He will be able to save our offense, and stop the current six, seven, eight, whatever-many-games losing streak we're on now.

Kind of like hiring the Aruban Police to quickly find a killer, or hiring Martha Stewart to conduct an audit of your finances.

I've never been in favor of firing a guy for the sheer sake of firing him, lacking anyone else to take over. But if they're not going to fire Baker, then I'm not going to watch their daily train wreck. Simple as that.