It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Monday, July 18

It's not all "verrry good" yet

BTW, since they installed the "no fun filter" at work, do you know how Fucking Hard it is to find good pictures to use on my blogs? So I know ol' Ali Larter is blurry, sorry.

I watched "Varsity Blues" for the 312th time the other day, and there's a scene where Tweeder is trying to tell Mox not to worry, because "girls, all they want to do is drop they panties...a little Percoset, a few beers, and the Panties...Will...Come...Off!! This is goooood..."

And, as Mox looks at him crosseyed, Tweeder feels the need to repeat himself, even more vociferously, "This is Verrrry Gooood!!" Mox, of course, knows he's being bullshitted, and he casually asks Tweeder if he thinks he's gonna like prison.

Anyway, we're being told that things are "Verrrry Goood", our starting pitching is BACK, we've won 6 of 7, and "playoffs" is the most used word in the pages of the Tribune the last few days, and not just to describe the fortunes of the Dog Assed White Sox. Basically, I feel like I'm being told that losing Corey was the piece we needed, that he was bringing the whole works down with his poor plate discipline and his even poorer uncoachability, and once the Great Nomar brings his singles-hitting ass back to civilization, the Cubs will soar like a big-old-warship full o' bombs.

I mean, it's been a million yuks to watch us beat the snot out of the Pirates and Marlins, two bargain-basement teams that are on cruise control right now, and to breathe a sigh of relief because Big Z didn't break his fuckin' meat hand yesterday trying to stab a liner through the box. But what are we going to do about the Cardinals? The AssTrolls? The Reds, for chrissakes? It only SEEMS like Hairston is a major upgrade to Corey, because he might take a pitch or two. What was he against the Battlin' Buccos, 2-for-14?

We need someone who can get on base, and run the bases with abandon once they get there. We need Juan Pierre, and if he is available for anything less than Prior, Lee, or Ramirez, we have to do it. I hate to be a fuckin' copycat to Chuck, but I'm not going to write something different from him, just to be a dick, because he's fucking-A right!!!

Once again, I repeat my profession of faith: Unless we trade for a legit on-base leadoff man, we aren't doing dick in 2005. I don't care if Nomar comes off of the DL and hits .500. He doesn't run, or piss people off on the basepaths.

Besides....that ain't gonna happen. We'll be lucky if he comes in with the callups.