5/24/2005 12:56:00 PM by Rob

What to do, and what NOT to do, in Late May

Personally, I don't think anything is going to get this fuckin' train back on the tracks, but I must admit that the Cardinals do not appear to be overwhelming, at least not to society at large. I will repeat, yet again, that they still do to me.

But it appears that Jim Hendry, former sainthood candidate and the King of the Bailout Trade, is going to try something in the next week or so. Naturally, the fun centers around this year's Central Division shithouse. However, this year the shithouse sits in Cincy, not Pittsburgh.

Here is a brief synopsis of what NOT to do:

Do NOT sign Danny Graves. If a real closer came along, maybe you might ditch the Dumpster/Borowski arrangement. But in lieu of Danny Dumpling, let it breathe.

Do NOT sign D'angelo Jiminez. Sure, he can hit for a little while. But ever notice every team he leaves (Padres, Sux, Reds) becomes a roiling cesspool of filth that requires quarantine and immediate disinfection?

Do NOT trade for Mike Cameron. You already have a slightly better hitting version who wears #20, and that is a truly sad fact.

Here's what they COULD do:

They COULD pursue Austin Kearns. Perhaps he could blossom ala Paul Konerko, who, yes, has occassional half-years where he couldn't hit ME if I ran past him real slow and ducked a little. But overall I would consider it a plus.

They COULD also pursue Aubrey Huff. I would just like to see them pull a trade like this off, ONCE.

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