It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

The Sloth is not intended for younger or sensitive readers!

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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Tuesday, May 3

Another Public Service Announcement from yer friendly Unca Sloth

For those of yeeewww whose sense of history begins with "Clay Aiken's close loss on 'American Idol 2'", who considers "Lost" to be a long-running TV series, and can say with a straight face "Shawon Dunston and Mark Grace were old-time Cubs"....

For those of you who just can't understand the hoohah about that fat pig Kirstie Alley on them Jenny Craig commercials...

...look, to your left. That ain't no fake. THAT was once Kirstie Alley.

Sure, she's always gotta face only a drag queen's mom can love. But she once could wear a pair of tight designer jeans with pride, and she once cause a HUGE stir at an awards show, like the Emmys or something, when she went up to the podium to pick up her award for her work on "Cheers" and thanked her then-husband for "giving her the big one"! Her hubby, of course, was former TV Hardy Boy Parker Stevenson, and OMG, how cheezy MUST their bedroom furniture have been back in their day. Probably dense aqua pile shag carpet covering all six sides of their domicile, including where the Thai Basket hung above their bed.

They're divorced now, so don't worry, Parker Stevenson doesn't look like, say, Will Farrell after having a live high-pressure air pump shoved up his rectum for three days.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, I guess.