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Thursday, March 31

WWYD, part deux

Or is it part three, I dunno.

Anyway, on to the lechery:

- Angelina Jolie: once again, I don’t get it. Brad Pitt’d rather be with her, than his ex-wife? Why? She’s a dirtbag. After Billy Bob Thornton had her, I….just couldn’t.

- In a related topic, the Old Spice Deodorant girl? When she’s hot, she’s sexy? Suppose so, although I’d lump her in the Angelina Jolie School of Fashion and Beauty. She’s turned up on a lot of guys’ WWYD lists. Just to be contrary, I’ll push myself away from the table. Ha! See, I have willpower.

- But I ain’t got none for the red-haired chick on the Plug-Ins commercial. Man oh man, she’s straight hot. But when her husband walks in and has the 50’s sitcom flashback and she’s holding up a pie wearing an apron over her dress, her pearls and her made up face and hair…DAMN, June, I’d be a little hard on the beaver.

- Another red-haired girl, in the allergy medicine commercial, the small-faced one who’s watching the day-care kids at the park. She better be careful, if I catch her cute little ass under the jungle jim…grass stains are always hard to get off the back of a cotton t-shirt…

- I tried to watch “Little Black Book”, and eventually bailed during the scene when Holly Hunter throws Brittany Murphy under the bus. Naturally, you all know I’d do ‘em both, simultaneously if possible. But they throw in, for no extra charge, three ex-girlfriends for my perusal. Josie Maran played the first one that was supposed to be a supermodel? Eh. They ruined her, somehow. Another devotee of the Angelina Jolie school.

But the other two, the chef and the gynecologist…the chef was played as an “attainable hottie” by a Julianne Nicholson, who was in “Ally McBeal”, “Kinsey”, and a bunch of other stuff I’d never heard of. The OB/GYN was a Rashida Jones, who is a Harvard grad, but amongst her credits are “Strip Search”, “Full Frontal”, and “If These Walls Could Talk”. A Skinemax Sweetie, perhaps? Anyway, she kinda spicy, but oooh, I’d suck dem bones down clean.

- Did I already say I would just NAIL Mellisa Pace from the “Cortisol” commercial? If so, my apologies. But I would. Give HER a first-hand view of my belly fat.

- Someone, can’t remember who, sorry, was assuming that I would be all over the McDonald’s “women are like McGriddles” chick. So, let’s see, she’s like a McGriddle, warm and fragrant, but kind of greezy? So I can eat her in 2 bites and a nibble, and reach for another one? Guess that’s a solid point. Yeah, I’d eat her, I’d eat her out of house and home.

- Finally, let’s wrap up with sports babes. I finally caught some of Comcast’s Kerry Sayers. She’s kinda corn-fed, which don’t make it wrong to want to give her the ol’ pork-n-beans. But there’s always still Gail Fischer, and I’d wait in line for days to put in a bid to cover her with several coats of my special protein-based lacquer.