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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

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Friday, March 4

Putting down my cup of Kool-Aid

BREAKING NEWS - Mesa, AZ: This just in!! Nomar Garciaparra hit by pitch, appears to be hurt badly, could be out 4 to 6 weeks! And, who knows how long it will REALLY be! This is JUST the kind of thing the Fresh New Cubs do NOT need!

If you were in your car or sitting in front of a tv tube yesterday afternoon, THIS is what you were treated to.

Good fucking Christ...I think I have finally figured out who to blame for 2004. And, in a related corollary, the Cubs cannot possibly win anything in a year after a successful one. Let me briefly explain.

The fucking guy got hit on the hand. He got a bruise. He may sit out a game or three. If it were September, he'd tape the bitch and play.

But the motherfucking Chicago press: the TV, the radio, the newspapers, the internet...Oh My God!!! I am actually starting to second guess the motivations of Moises Alou, Kent Mercker, and the rest of the assPolice.

Will the fuckstains in the press PLEASE CALM DOWN!! It is impossible for these guys to play in a vacuum. Please believe me, most of these guys are highly motivated professionals, who know why they're here, who have done this before, and they really, really, honestly don't need a bunch of short, beady-eyed, halitosis-breath, klutzy no-ball-playing closet cases CRYING WOLF at every little thing...clawing on every minor setback as THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE BACKS OF THE CUBS!!

They don't need to be second guessed, third guessed, fourth guessed, reminded, poked, prodded, cajoled, pressured, pressured, pressured into playing better, rising about the "CUBS CURSE" for the first time in a century.

I have seen the curse, and it is US, dammit? Don't you see? I KNEW when the yuppie turtleneck pudflap Bartman interfered on the fly ball...see, I hurt WORSE than all of you, and you know why?

To you, maybe we blew a game...or maybe a series. To me, I knew, I JUST KNEW, that the surrounding forces would not only thrash the life out of what was left of 2003, but they would also choke the life out of the next year, and beyond!! From the idiots who want to boil a ball in the spaghetti sauce, to the sawed off pipsqueak on the Score who thinks there's a hidden conspiracy behind everything, to the know-it-all in the booth last year who (although he was right, dead right) couldn't HELP HIMSELF but to make the manager look even STUPIDER than he already was.

If the fucking media won't just let it rest, it ain't ever gonna get better.

Nomar is fine, Prior is fine, they're the pros, not you scrawny wiry-haired refugees from the day school who couldn't throw the ball straight one time out of a hundred. Let them play, REPORT ON WHAT IS ON THE FIELD, and whatever goes on in the clubhouse, LET STAY IN THE CLUBHOUSE...