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Thursday, March 24

Is Kerry a man's or a woman's name?

I cannot possibly make any of this up.

Kerry Wood reported to work on the morning of his important pre-season start, which Cubs management has been looking forward to as a key indicator of his fitness to start the season in the rotation. Cubs training staff, however, held Wood out of today's start after he complained of a sore back, caused by a bad night's sleep.

"We don't see the need to take any chances", stated Larry Rothschild, pitching coach. Wood may pitch in a simulated game tomorrow. Dusty Baker, Cubs manager, still hopes to have Wood pitch the home opener on April 8th, but "we haven't had the chance, you know, to stretch his arm out over a number of innings here in Arizona. Dude."

The Tribune web site is holding a mini-poll next to the article, asking readers what injury Wood will suffer from next. Include were "groin", "toothache", and "sore neck".

No word on whether Wood will be backing out on his participation of the Scottsdale Theatre Group's production of "Oh, Calcutta!", scheduled to premiere tonight at the Scottsdale Civic Center.