It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

The Sloth is not intended for younger or sensitive readers!

Illini Basketball
Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Thursday, March 10

Hee Seop Choi and Ron Hassey go to White Castle

Pretty funny stuff, but even an Uncouth Sloth can't sit with his wife and his stepdaughter when the nympho wife of the inbred geek tells the boys that in order to have her, they have to have her together, and John Cho objects because he doesn't want "his balls rubbing up against" Kal Penn's, and Kal's firing back, saying "it's TWO holes...we get to use two holes, right?"

"Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle"...three Sloth turds out of four. Good guy flick.

I suppose I'm supposed to say something insightful, witty, or scatological about Kerry Wood today. Once again, I refer you to a few days ago, when I pleaded with the media to back the fuck off. First Nomar was out for weeks...he's just fine. Then Corey and his knee...nada. Woody and his shoulder? What, you think he should pitch through the pain in spring training? Don't even get me STARTED about Mark "Simulated Game" Prior.

I realize that the Cubs, in concert with their training staff, pulled a fast one on us last year. Prior's achilles was never the problem as much as his elbow was. We'll never know now how SamMe REALLY pulled his abdominal muscle. I realize it might be hard for you to listen to me say "Wait and See". But what choice do we have?

So what can YOU do to keep your mind from spinning totally out of control with fear and panic over who's actually telling the truth about the health of YOUR ballclub? What does the Sloth do? Well, we all know I like da young stuff, and WHO has more of IT, than the dubbya-B-B-B? Who ELSE has a show called "The Starlet"? If you guessed that I watch that show to see young chix, you would be CORRECT! DING DING DING DING!!

I mean, c'mon...yes, I despise reality TV. But it's called "The Starlet"??? It's like having a show called "The Beers" or "The monster poster-quality Dunks" or "The Bikers who beat the Shit out of Nuns" CAN it suck??

Unless they don't have any Starlets. But, fortunately, there are several.

Tonight, don't miss Michaelynne and the rest of them. Why, it's like a freakin' Chinese buffet, except none of that tofu shit or any of the weird shit made out of purple fish and grey mushroom.