It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

The Sloth is not intended for younger or sensitive readers!

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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Tuesday, January 11

Meanwhile, at Ellen Degenerate's House....

Many of you don't even realize that I am a sociologist, with grants funding several studies, unsurprisingly of sexual content. For example, a three-year study of girls and women attending small Catholic colleges in Northern Illinois has led to the formation of Sloth's Theory The Twelfth: The reason why so many of us guys suffer from Acute Sexual Depravation, is because them girls are keeping it all to themselves.

For example, Ellen DeGeneres is now bagging HER, Portia De Rossi, of "Arrested Development" and "Ally McBeal" fame.

Man....what a waste. I mean, if she's gonna bat for the other team, at least she could have hooked up with someone cuter. Like, I wouldn't watch Portia munch Ellen's rug...gag!

I'd watch Portia and Melissa Etheridge wrestle. I'd even be able to tolerate it if Portia was able to convince Anne Heche to return to switch hitting. Now, Portia De Rossi and Drea Di Olive Oil...That's Italian!! Not that Drea leans that way or nothing, but imagine the revenues for a Pay Per View...