It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

The Sloth is not intended for younger or sensitive readers!

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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Tuesday, January 25

I thought blogging was all about individuality?

Two things about yesterday bugged me.

First, I actually spent time watching tennis. I don't know what the hell I was thinking..?

Look at that azz...Legal tender on April 19th (actually has been legal tender in Mother Russia for some time)

The other problem is that I got sand kicked in my face from a mid-major blogging "celebrity" who happened to stumble in here, and e-mailed me to belittle me for not only making fun of the dumbshit who can't spell, but mainly because I am not political. SPORTS is for children, I guess, and grownups can only talk about politics, sex, and preferably politics WITH sex.

Well, we all know what happens every time I stick even a tip of my fuckin' toe in the political waters:

WARNING: Do NOT take the Uncouth Sloth with food. Do not take if undergoing psychiatric care, or under the influence of oxybase inhibitors. If accidentally ingested, induce vomiting and call Poison Control immediately. Aww, fuck it. Call 9-1-1 anyway, just to be on the safe side

Obviously, I don't do something right in that regard. For everyone who darkens my doorstep comes away knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt how I feel about SamMe Sosa, Mark Prior, Dusty Baker, Jim Hendry and Danny (Fucking) Jackson. Obviously I am clear about things I know. On the other hand, I've never been more mis-construed in my entire life as I was this past fall with the election.

I'm just an overgrown kid, as are most of you. You're grown men, and you read Cubs web sites. I write one, and so do some of you. It's a kids game, the guys run out there wearing double-knit pajamas, throw balls and swing clubs at one another, and fall down in the dirt and get all filthy. (Except for you, Ryno. You were above it all. No offense.)

This IS a blog, Goddammit, and I even have some semblance of sex in it, because I haven't really developed MUCH since I was 14, and from the feedback I get from Carlos Zambrano's Dad and other such luminaries, neither have you.

Cubs, chicks, dumbshits, and the occasional whine about peer pressure and its effect on our youth. Take it, or stick it up yer fuckin' ass!!