It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

The Sloth is not intended for younger or sensitive readers!

Illini Basketball
Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

Site Meter

Monday, January 24

From disappointment, then what?

Today's mystery word is: disappointment.

We're all familiar with the concept. It seems to be an ingrained concept with the Cubs. I need not restate the litany working back from the Whiners of 2004, Bartman, etcetra, etcetera, etceterrrra.

Let me get this off my chest. First of all, for those of you who I wanted to sit and drink with at Kitty O'Shea's this weekend, I am disappointed that I couldn't make it either night. I do have a spouse who cares about me enough to not want to see me die in a car wreck, so I didn't have the stones to venture into the blizzard either night. There IS a foot of snow outside my office this morning, even though we only got an inch in Corn Hole. It really SUCKED to see the weather warnings even though there was NOTHING happening by my casa.

I probably did the right thing, though.

At left, we see another disappointment, the Great Big Swollen Sammy Sosa. This picture is from the 2001 Home Run Derby, I believe, the very height of his roid rage. Do you remember the scene? Everyone else was lying in foul territory, slapping five, relaxing. El Jefe was in the tunnel to the clubhouse, pacing like a caged beast, splashing cups of water in his face, like a fucking Three Stooge? Then he went out and belted about 15 shots off of the facade of Heaven, and went on to perhaps his best season?

Everybody knows I've been calling this creep a sideshow fraud for years now, so all everyone wanted to ask me today is: Did I hear about Sammy being booed at CubsFest?

Yes, I did. What did I think?

It would be disingenious of me to say anything other than I am PROUD of you people who DID go there and shout your lungs out every time his big fat face was shown on the screen. Whether you think most of the attendees are social misfits, one step above Trekkies, or not, these people Love the Cubs, they paid their money, and they came out and booed the piss out of this guy.


...and you knew this was coming, for what am I if not the contrarian? You wonder sometimes, when a end has been reached, if the means to the end were proper? Are these people booing because they truly saw for themselves what a disappointment he is as a bread-winning, back-carrying captain of the team? Or, are these people booing because the Mother Fucking TRIBUNE says so? Because the parent mouthpiece of the Cubs organization has done everything they can in the last winter to discredit the man. If the paper would have just left him alone this winter, would you all have come to the same conclusion? That of BOO?

At this point in time, less than a month before Pitchers-n-Catchers report, I have a new worry. I try to stay a step ahead in my angst, you know. What's my new worry? Simple.

It looks like Sosa is a Cub in 2005. How do we keep him without fucking up the rest of the team? Is it possible? Everyone from Pegleg Santo to Todd Godfearing Walker keeps playing the Apology Card. Well, I got news, people. THAT DOG AIN'T GONNA HUNT!!

First of all, Sosa CAN'T issue a heartfelt apology...repentance takes humility, which he has none.

Next, what is he apologizing for? For leaving a game early, a game that meant nothing? That's the least of his transgressions. I could give a dogshit less about that day. What about the fact that he has been declining steadily since 2002, and rather than listening to management, and adjusting his game, and working with the team concept, he's done it HIS way, every day, every at-bat, to the detriment of the club?

Three years of fuck-ups. How do you apologize for THAT, in one sitting? Not even Mother Theresa could pull that one off.

Just HOW is he going to fit in, now that we're pretty much stuck with his sagging ass?