12/29/2004 10:46:00 AM by Rob

The Apocalypse

First off, this ain't no "big girl", Chuckster:

But, of much larger import, is this the end of the world?

Late October: Red Sox win World Series

Early November: Americans vote Bush to oval office, citing "moral issues"

Late November: Ron Artest and other Indiana Pacers cut loose in wild brawl with fans

Early December: Plague of locusts overrun Australia, Mexico, India

Mid December: Mass murder via suicide bomber intensifies in Iraq

Late December: A 600x200 MILE portion of the Earth contracts unto itself, causing tsunamis that kill hundreds of thousands

What's next? A massive explosion occurs in an African fertilizer plant, turning the Nile blood red? A unprecendented volcano eruption occurs, blotting the sun out for three days? The Cubs go over the $100 million mark in player salaries? Four scourges in woolen business suits drive luxed-out Hummers from the four corners of the Earth to sue the great corporations of the world for fraud and improper practices, in the name of Sarbannes-Oxley?

Me, I'm stocking up on canned goods, gold, drinking water, and lubricants.

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