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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

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Thursday, October 28

The sun still rose in the East this morning...

I was in my favorite local greezy chicken establishment, picking up sustenance for the residents of de Casa del Sloth, when I saw Jesus Damon lead off Game 4 with a jackalactic. "Well", I thought, "this certainly doesn't seem like a squad that has 86 years of excess baggage on its back."

Still, I was too chicken to look, once I got home.

It was a painful effort to switch the TV back to Fox around 10, because I figured there would be something awful, something horrible awaiting. AND THERE WAS!! Quick cut shots of people being chased by zombies, chained to bathroom sinks, bleeding, guts gushing out, dying, dead!!!

Then the commerical for the movie "Saw" concluded, and Keith Foulke was on to pitch the ninth. I say that I was afraid of what I might see, but actually, to tell the truth, my gut was telling me that this was not so, that reason and logic would win out on this night, that the better team was going to win this series going away.

So when I woke up this morning, and flipped on the "Today" show, I knew the Red Sox had won, but I didn't stay up long enough after that to hear of the aftermath. Did a tidal wave wash away the entire Eastern Seaboard? Did a long-dormant faultline crack open and swallow the whole Mass Pike? Did Matt Damon and Ben Affleck (AF-LACK!!) finally public consummate their long-rumored homosexual relationship, not that there's anything wrong with that? Did the Sun really rise in the West, and did Christ come down from the right hand of God in heaven and start judging the living and the dead? Did at least some drunken Irishmen drown in their own vomit, thus raising the gene pool up a notch?

There was nothing, not even a mention of The Sports Guy running nude through Copley Place. Outside of a little inappropriate touching by Terry Francona of his young Latin players, it was just another celebration. Just shots of red-faced Sawx fans who had lost their voices, and the obligatory right-wing rantings of One Curt Schilling on Good Morning, America.

I guess I expected something extraordinary for the first World Series win since 1918. I guess it will be funny the first time the Steinbrenners come to Fenway next year, when the crowd chants "Two-Thou-Sand" for the last time the Yankees won. I'm glad they didn't tear down Fenway a few years back, even though it is a dump-pile.

But, keep in mind, Fenway HAS had world championships before. Wrigley NEVER has.