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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Monday, October 18

A few words about Britney Spears

Is she smart, or real stupid?

She CAN'T sign, she CAN'T act, she CAN'T really dance, she gets drunk and marries guys, now she wants to take a year off to get knocked up by her new husband, a creepy grease-monkey lookin' punk whose previous claim to fame was that he knocked up some third-level black chick twice, and left her before the second baby was even born.

Everywhere in this great country of ours, millions of insecure men spend countless millions of minutes every day flogging away at themselves to pictures of the young, ripe Ms. Spears, wishing that they could be so lucky as to wed this incredibly saucy piece of ass. And here's THAT guy, can't even be bothered to fuckin' SHAVE half the time, and HE's banging away at her now, wearing his $2,000 velour sweatsuit with "PIMP" embroidered on the back, waving his $75,000 watch, rippin' around town in his Lamborghini, none of which HE paid for.

Do you suppose, all he had to do was ASK? That any one of us could have sacked up, and bagged us a Britney ourselves?

Just imagine her fragrant, supple flesh flexing and coiling against yours, as she brings herself to the peak of pleasure, again, and again, as she's grinding her pretty little cooch around your manpole, as you're lying there, gritting your teeth, thinking about the backs of your prized 1982 Topps baseball card collection, trying not to cumm too soon. She's manhandling her own beautiful glistening tits, looking you over with those big eyes, licking her moist, puffy lips...


...aaah. Ok, think about this a second:

Every day, Carlos Beltran running out to center field for the beloved...pushing Corey Patterson to left, and J. D. Drew in right, and NOTHING's getting through, everything is being caught on the fly. And power....homers almost every single day, wind or no wind, doubles stretched into triples by their amazing speed.

Winning the division by 15 games.

Sweeping through the playoffs, with the outcome never in doubt.

A World Series at Wrigley Field.

About the only thing I would give up a quickie with Britney Spears for.