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Bruce, we gave you tha keys, and THIS is what you brought home?

¿Dónde está mi dinero, las rameras?

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Thursday, July 8

Top Ten List of Things That Are Larger Than the Cubs Lineup

From the home office in Sault Ste. Marie, Quebec, Canada...ancestral home of all queer-assed left wing liberals is the Top 10 list of things that come up bigger than the Cubs lineup:

10) Amish family's monthly ComEd bill
9) Oprah Winfrey's facial hair
8) Kady Clemens' IQ (Kady being the first-born of Rocket Rog)
7) Roomful of priests watching lesbian porn
6) Michael Jackson's street cred
5) Steve Swisher's career VORP
4) Mary Kate Olson's bench press
3) Total box office for "This Old Cub" by people whose last name ends in a consonant
2) John Kruk's sperm count

And...the Number One thing bigger than the Cubs offense is:

1) Chip Caray's cock, measured in inches