7/19/2004 02:57:00 PM by Rob

People in denial
 
There are two major groups of people in MY life that are in denial:
 
1) my management.  My PC is broken, again.  It is 5 years old, which is 35 in dog years, and 198 in corporate years.  The lease expired 2 years ago.  Everyone else in my group has nifty new laptops with wireless web and processors that run in the giga-hertz.  I am sitting today in the shitty part of town, "consultants row", where all the other crappy PCs were banished to, and all sorts of creepy smelly-assed fuckers sit with their filthy, foreign fingers and type on this keyboard from which I am probably going to catch the fuckin' clap from.
 
I make enough per hour where you would think it would be prudent to provide me with reliable, adequate equipment to do my job.  Alas, all I can do on this rig is....surf the net!  Oh, the humanity!
 
2) a large segment of Cub fans on Cub Blog Nation, who are still of the belief that the season is NOT lost, that the Deadbirds are due to lose and lose often, and that according to one particular moran, we are in better shape THIS year than last.
 
I'll give you a minute for you to discuss amongst yourselves, and formulate a possible justification for such a pronouncement.
 
..............................
 
Ok, ready?  The correct answer is "...last year, at this time, we were 5 games out of the playoffs, and this year, we are only one."
 
Last year, and I'm too lazy to check the facts, and I truly DOUBT that we were 5 games out of the lead after the break, but let's assume that we were.  Today, we are 8 games out of the lead.  The Wild Card should NEVER be counted on, because that little loophole is beyond your control.  The division is what it is all about, and right now, anyone who thinks that all of a sudden, THIS team, with the underperforming Sosa and the clinically dead Alou and the perpetually stubborn Patterson, the miserable Grud, the wilting Barrett, the contact challenged Gonzalez, the gutless Farnsworth and Hawkins, the doughy Maddux, boisterously insane Zambrano,  and most of all, the  brutally panty-waisted Mark Prior, (ran out of adjectives there) anyway, this team is NOT turning any corners, rising up from any ashes, leap-frogging over anything, catching any lightning or thunder in any bottles, and is NOT winning the 2004 NL Central.
 
Another manager in charge, perhaps there would be a bit better odds.  But the one that is installed right now, does his work BEFORE the first pitch is thrown.  He schmoozes, cajoles, motivates, instructs, plays with crystals, whatever, in the clubhouse, but once the game starts, he's no more into it than YOU might be playing cell-phone-tag with your friends in section 218.
 
He's not going to help his slovenly offense manufacture runs, and he's not going to implement clever diversionary tactics for his rudderless bullpen.  Once you see his toothpick workin' in the corner of the dugout, know that, according to Dusty, his work is done!  He's just here to see the ballgame, same as you.

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