5/03/2004 10:11:00 AM by Rob

Some unpopular stances

I nearly always manage to piss someone off, somewhere, and up until now it has been unintentional. Up until now.

1) A word about Lindsay Lohan. I saw "Mean Girls" this weekend, and it was great. I loved it. It made me want to go back and rent "Freaky Friday" (great) and "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" (dumb).



Lindsay Lohan courtesy edgescans.com.

MMMMMMM....Is it wrong? Sure. Your point?

2) Imagine for a minute that you didn't live HERE. Maybe you are Norwegian, or something like that.

In 2000, you hear that George W. Bush wins the election for President of America under strange circumstances, and you figure it's THEIR business how they select a leader. You have a King, and you don't HAVE to elect anyone.

On 9/11, you saw that there was a terrorist attack in America. You might be frightened by the fact that stuff like that just didn't typically happen there. Terrorists attack in France, Japan, Spain, and certainly in the Middle East. If it is happening there, now, might it happen to us, too?

But, busy with your snow shovelling, or whatever, you forget about it. Then you see that the Americans have invaded Afghanistan, to try to capture the people who caused 9/11. You may think it a bit severe, those Americans throwing their might around, again. But you suppose, if you were a big, powerful ape, you might do the same thing, if you thought you could capture the terrorists and give them their justice.

Then you hear that they are taking prisoners, shipping them to some hellhole in Cuba, and not granting them any legal representation, and holding them indefinitely. You remember that they have complained repeatedly over the years about other countries that did the same sort of thing to war prisoners, and you start thinking about how hypocritical this seems.

Then you see them invade Iraq, and try to coerce every other nation to join in, even though there is NO direct link between Iraq and any attacks on America, and even though there is NO hard proof of ANY Iraq intent to attack. They come in, level the country, break up their government, and declare victory on the deck of an aircraft carrier.

A year later, their troops are STILL over there, bombing the hell out of places, getting their own people killed, and their president is backpedalling about the victory speech he made last year. Now, you see pictures on the news and the internet of American troops exploiting Iraqi prisoners.

From the outside, you might think a couple of things about America: a) they're no better than any other pissant country, and b) George Bush doesn't exactly know what he's doing.

Just saying, that might be why so many people distrust us.

3) Now on to today's Cub content. We got a problem here, people. This is our first true test, in Busch Memorial Pisspot, and we are failing, big time.

Our starters pitch their asses off, only to see their offense and defense behind them sputter, and our bullpen choke.

If you want to continue to think long term, good for you. This team, as comprised, lacks a true consistent offensive threat, and they lack an effective relief corps. If you are content to consider 2004 as a year where your young starters develop, your farm system completes the maturation process for bullpen help, as a year-long experiment to pinpoint the problems with your everyday lineup, to be addressed via trade, free-agency or just instruction and development of your current personnel, then fine.

But if you want to do all of the above, and expect to WIN at the same time, get off it, shorty, because it can't happen. You CAN'T have both.

If you continue to hold down the pitch counts on your young starters, if you continue to trot out Farnsworth and Hawkins out there to hold leads and close games (talent but no stones) or Borowski and Mercker (stones a-plenty, but no talent), we're going to keep losing these one-run games. And as long as you continue to mold your batting order around Sammy Sosa, the MOST INCONSISTENT player EVER to put on the uniform, continue to let Corey Patterson swing from his ass, Derrek Lee bat in a position where he sees no pitches, do not even ATTEMPT to run, and on top of all that, toss in Alex Gonzalez and his strikeouts, we cannot win this year.

Not when the AssTrolls are as strong as they are.

No, the only chance we have this year to win, is to let every starter pitch until he wins, loses, or his arm falls out of its socket. I feel more confident with a tired Clement, Zambrano, Wood, or Prior than I do with what we got in the bullpen now. We would have won Friday with Wood in there, and we might have won yesterday if Zambrano would have gone two more innings.

In the long run, isn't that harmful? Hell, yeah. I wouldn't do it myself. I'd hang in this year, and try to sign one or two impact offensive players, along with a real closer, between the trading deadline and next off-season.

I'm just saying that, this year, we will NOT be able to have our cake and eat it, too.

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