5/25/2004 09:31:00 AM by Rob

More response to the All Majestic-Five

There are a few people who really, really know what floats my boat, who wanted to know what the hell happened to Claire Danes on my list.

Yeah, well, she's off, forever.

Do you know who Billy Crudup and Mary-Louise Parker are? Crud-up, who is aptly named, was the lead singer of "Stillwater" in Almost Famous, and Parker is a little hottie who has been in a bunch of movies I've never heard of.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, as Parker was 6 months pregnant with Crudup's child, he left her, for Guess Who?

Claire Danes...Yale graduate, red-haired waif, home wrecker slut.

Fuck you up the ass, Claire.

Full-contact Slugbug

Kids!

School is over, so you know what time it is?

YEP!, it's Car Vacation Time!!

And when the batteries run out on your Game Boy and your Walkman, and when you're sick to death of I Spy and the License Plate Game, it's time for the best Car Game Ever!

FULL-CONTACT SLUGBUG!!

Here are the e-z to follow rules:

1) The first one who sees one of the following cars gets to dole out punishment to anyone of his choosing:

Slug Bug (Volks Beetle) - 1 punch
PT Bruiser (PT Cruiser) - 1 punch
Shaggin' Wagon (station wagon) - 1 punch
Woodchuck (a vehicle with wood grain exterior) - 1 punch
Taxi (NOT APPLICABLE IN THE CITY) - 1 punch

Woodchuck Combo (a woodchuck shaggin' wagon, PT bruiser, or taxi) - 2 punches
Woodchuck Slug Bug (heretofore never seen) - 3 punches
Slug Bug Animals (ie: a pink slug bug decorated to resemble a pig) - unlimited punches, until the punchee makes the noise of the animal (ie: Oink)

2) No Double Jeapordy - each sighting can only be used once. If you see the same vehicle later on (due to passing, etc), the next sighting may NOT entitle the finder to punches.

3) Illegal punches - either due to Double Jeapordy or other error - may be returned in double.

See how EZ? Go nuckin' futs! Have fun!

WARNING: if you are an only child, or otherwise the only child on the trip, please refrain from Full Contact SlugBug. Dad HATES to be punched when he's trying to decide to take the ramp for 80/90 or 94...

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