5/27/2004 08:57:00 AM by Rob

Making chicken salad out of chicken shit

Hey, if you use enough mayo, maybe dice a couple of green onions, celery, you can pretty much hide the taste.

Going to sleep last night, I was as low as I have been all year. Maddux, in a word, sucks. Our offense is wildly inconsistent, and our biggest rival just beat us in a 2-game series. To me, all this series was designed to do was send a message. If they split, fine. But if someone sweeps, as Houston did, then they can hold that over our heads for the final 17 games. And if you think the first two games out of 19 are insignificant, then pay REAL close attention to what the players say for the rest of the season, right before they play the AssTrolls.

Invariably, every thing that comes out of their mouths will start with something like "Well, they swept us those first two games in Houston, and we have to....", and the "have to" will be, whatever: pitch better, hit better, run the bases better, field the position better...whatever.

Basically, I went to bed feeling that we were already beaten for the year against these ass-clowns.

But, when I woke up, and read the Houston, Chicago, and national papers, all anyone can talk about is Andy Pettitty's elbow.

To me, guys-n-gals, that's a big relief.

Let 'em worry about whether or not Andy can comb his own hair, or wipe his own ass. Hell, if he can't, I'm sure his friend Rocket Roger will be ONLY TOO WILLING to help. Let them take the emphasis away from the games themselves. This is the best possible thing that could happen to us, after losing two games in the submissive way that we did.

As for Maddux, if he even gave one rat-fucking ounce about his ball team, he would learn to pitch to Mike Barrett, because his personal ass-licker, Gabor Bako, doesn't deserve to wear the uniform anymore. I could wander through Mendota High School's weight room right fucking NOW, as we speak, and find five guys that can hit better than Bako.

And that's no idle threat...we got a couple of guys who are liable to be drafted this summer. We can hit..just can't pitch.

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