It started out as a Cub blog with cuss words. I'm still cussin'; it's the Cub part I'm a little squishy on these days.

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Wednesday, May 12

Grip it n' Rip it

That is, unfortunately, the way I live my life.

Unfortunate, because it is really only a valid philosophy if you are either a) really good at what you do, or b) too stupid to care about the consequences.

Unfortunate, because I fit neither description.

I intended for this to be basically a Cub blog, but more and more it has become a lot of other things, few of which are any good. I seem to get more negative response than positive, and I really got into this to try to both support and be supported by kindred spirits. Maybe at some point, I succeeded, but lately, I'm not so sure.

I just can't help feeling the way I do on two important topics:

1) I do NOT like the way the Cubs look this year, and as comprised, they are NOT going to win anything.
2) I do NOT like the way the world looks this year, and as comprised, I truly fear that before this year passes, something is going to come along that makes 9/11 look like a picnic. And what's worse, we as Americans are not blameless, thanks to the stupid fucking shooting war Dubya has us in.

But, when I try to express how I feel about the Cubs, I get called "negative" and "cynical". When I try to express my fears as a nation, I get called "unAmerican".

I did not intend on being ANY of the above, especially not UnAmerican. Put me up against some guy who for his own purposes is getting hundreds of Americans dead, and call ME unAmerican? I'm all for Americans, being ALIVE, not burned and dragged around the square, not beheaded, not shot, not tortured, and certainly NOT taking pictures of themselves while they committed grave injustices to prisoners, then letting them leak out so the whole fucking Islamic world can see them and take their revenge out on us.

I know, I know, if you put something out there, you have to expect negative feedback. I guess, I didn't. If I were an actual "journalist", should I expect it?

Hell yeah. But I would also expect I would see a far greater percentage of positive feedback...that is, if I were doing it right.

I have supporters and friends, sure, lots of you. I'm just not sure I'm doing it right. As of right now, I'm doing some hard thinking about things.

And this is NOT a bald naked ploy for compliments. This is a true reflection of my feelings right now, and I'm not sure I want to continue. This is going to get worse before it ever gets better, and I don't feel like I'm up to the challenge.