4/26/2004 09:27:00 AM by Rob

Life IS good

For those of you who have come here to my little corner of the world to find out what I might possibly have to bitch about today...

...sorry to disappoint you.

Even uncouth sloths can't gripe about six-game winning streaks, a team that has given up 5 earned runs in six games...what is that, an 0.83 ERA? No errors, either, and all sorts of timely hitting.

Hopefully the reverse karmic machine only serves to turn bad into good. I do hope that it doesn't turn praise into heartbreak. Just because I come to laud Kerry Wood, Matt Clement, Zambrano, hell, even Meat Tray, doesn't mean that starting tonight, the D-backs will start beating us alive?

Does it?

I guess I can bitch about some of the rose-colored shade wearers who kept telling me to relax, that when it is 12-6, with the team on top, that I'll know then that the team is for real. I played right into their hands, and now they can skip around singing "la-la-I-told-you-so", or whatever it is that people drunk on blue Kool-Aid do.

Look, you buncha cotton-tailed bunny wabbits! I can only go on precedents, and for the past 35 years or so, every time the team comes out flat in April, they end up below .500 at the end of September, too. Maybe this ISN'T Your Dad's Chicago Cubs. Maybe it was possible for them to suck like crack whores for the first ten games, then catch fire for NO apparent reason. Maybe they now act just like so many other teams, not based in Chicago, where they have a bad week, then shake it off and play like winners.

Maybe I should just relax, and sit back with an ice-cold freshly poured glass of Cub Blue Kool-Aid. Kool Aid, Kool Aid, Tastes Great! Kool Aid, Kool Aid, Can't Wait!! Maybe I should start living my life according to Blind Faith, contentedly numb in the knowledge that this 2004 team is too good to lose, and when we get Prior and Remlinger back, they will peel off like Vin Diesel with a nitro tank shoved up his ass in "The Fast and The Furious".

When I was young, and my heart was an open book, I used to say...This Is Our Year! (You know I did, you know I did, you know I did....) But when this ever-changing world, in which I live in...

...okay, enough of the Wings homage for today. For all you bright-eyed optimists, I've held out more blind hope that all of you put together.

I can't count how many years I began April filled with the shimmering promise that this would be The Year! This has bled through to all the areas of my life: the doomed relationships, the once-promising career choices, the shattered dreams that litter my pavement like a crushed windshield. I've had three marriages, five jobs, bought seven homes, and EACH and EVERY time, I thought that the decision being made at the time was Permanent.

So you wonder why I can't hold on to six days of solid baseball? Wonder no more: be enthusatic, be loyal, be hopeful.

But, be careful, too.

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