4/01/2004 08:27:00 AM by Rob

Tricks and Treats

Gotta give Kurt his props. He converted to the "dark" side overnight, and he went the whole nine...even grew a mullet, moved into a trailer, and started cooking meth in his kitchenette.

The next nice thing is in
Chuck's blog, where he lists out all of 2005's potential free agents on the side, for EZ reference. I notice he didn't put Sosa out there.

Joe has the first entry of Picture O' The Year on his rag. I appreciate a well-hung Jesus as much as anyone.

And
Derek bravely states that he isn't going to write about Achilles-gate, then he gets suckered into it.

Welcome to the boys' clubhouse, Michael Wuertz. We're going to need all the warm bodies we can round up in the pen, because every so often, Dusty is going to send out Sergio Meat-Tray to start games. I honestly don't know what he sees in him. It must be the phenomenom like we have at work. One of my co-workers is really deep down, a dumbfuck. But he's glib, as well as physically fit, and he always makes eye contact when he speaks to you, and seems concerned, so it's easy to feel CONFIDENT in him, provided you don't know ahead of time that he's a dumbfuck.

I suspect Mitre has that kind of effect on Dusty. He's a Cali boy, too, and can probably talk the talk. Because, judging from last year and all his appearences since it was fairly obvious that he would make the team, I myself could hit his silly ass.

April Fools' Day is a day for mean people. Some people spend MONTHS coming up with ways to terrorize the people around them. I've had my kid soak a t-shirt with ketchup, then hold it up to his eye and recruit two friends to help him inside my front door, saying that he fell off his bike and skewered himself with the handlebar. I've had the same kid saran-wrap the toilet bowl, so when I took my first piss of the morning (with my eyes closed, natch), I managed to Ping the stream across the room.

I can't remember the last time I went out of my way to April fool someone on April fools. I might do it other times of the year. But, then, it isn't as good, since people are looking out for it today.

Keep your head up and your eyes open today. Someone might be lathering your jock-strap with Capscium-L.

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