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Tuesday, April 13


Big News for the Big Apple

Move over, Jete. Step aside, Piazza. Better finish up your bizness quick, Jesse the Bachelor. Because nobody in the New York sports world has a chance in hell to get a date once Mets farmhand Scott Kasmir makes the big club.

According to Baseball Prospects and MLB.com, Scott is currently suffering from a muscle pull that seems to hurt "...in his abdomen, his legs, and both of his groins..."

Somewhere, Britney Spears just dropped her chicken leg in her lap.

Two groins? Hmmm...wait until Mariah Carey gets herself around that.

Representatives of the Port St. Lucie Mets would not return calls to confirm or deny that Kasmir is currently dating porn diva Jenna Jameson.

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