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Tuesday, March 30


Just something I got to get off of my chest

Growing up in a time before all communities on the Rand McNally got their own McDonald's, it was a real treat to go to the Arches, or a King, or a KFC, whenever we would make it to "the big city". Like, Joliet, for instance.

When I tell my kids that the nearest McD's was a half-hour away, their heads spin.

Anyway, today I tried the new Tender Chicken Sandwich at BK today, and it was a good sandwich, no doubt. With the coupon, it was still $3.49. But I also noticed that there was another, cheaper fried chicken sandwich on the menu, along with several grilled chicken selections, plus chicken tenders.

McD's also has a $1 McChicken, a more expensive McCrispy Chicken, a grilled chicken sandwich, along with the New Chicken McNuggets, now made with White Meat.

All capitalized menu items are a registered trademark of their respective companies

Anyway, the menus are so large anymore, that they do not fit on the drive-thru menu board, and unwieldy "extensions" have to be clipped on to show customers all the offered items and specials. In the meantime, all the fry grills have been replaced with hi-tech contraptions that move the product along a conveyor to cook to documented perfection.

Nobody asked me, but if McD's, BK, Wendy's, etc. want to get back to the good old days of double digit growth, I got one word for them.

Simplify.

Screw having an entire R&D department to concoct new funky sandwich items to try to draw people in. I have NEVER met anyone who told me honestly that their favorite menu item was any of their "special" line extension items (except for the McRib. Some of my strangest friends and acquaintences love McRibs). Instead, devote your resources in two areas:

1) How to most effectively keep the restaurant clean, re-engineering all areas and surfaces if necessary.
2) How to best prepare a small "core" of items.

In my world, when you went into a McD's, you can have the following:
1) Burger - 2 oz., up from 1.6 oz
2) Cheeseburger - ditto
3) Big Mac - would be 4 oz now
4) Double and triple burgers, upon request
5) Fish sandwich - increase serving size by 20%
6) Quarter pounders - including cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion & mayo
7) fries - regular and large
8) Chicken McNuggets
9) Soft drinks, shakes, and coffee
10) Ice cream

Screw the salads, soups, hot apple pies. Screw the McBratwursts, McPizzas, and anything else that makes it complicated for the cooks. You don't need two levels of chicken sandwich, and if you don't eat red meat, you always have the fish, or the nuggets. If you don't like fried foods, then, please, go to Sweet Tomatoes, and nibble to your heart's content.

For BK, similar. They can shit-can their fish sandwich, keep their new chicken sandwich (it's reeel good) and throw out their "specialty" items, their Chicken Whopper, their chicken tenders (they suck) and their tacos (Jack In the Box ought to be suing their asses). Just burgers, Whoppers, onion rings, fries, chicken, drinks and Icee's. If someone wants BBQ sauce on their Whopper to make it "western", then by all means, Tex, give them a packet of sauce upon request.

The Colonel his own self said it right many years ago. "We only do one thing, and we do it right." This was right after they had to shit-can the shaved roast beef sandwich bizness.

Too bad his own company can't do the same. Do you have a KFC in your town that isn't part of a Pizza Hut, A&W, or Taco Bell?

Do you? Can I come over for chicken?

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