3/26/2004 09:02:00 AM by Rob

Another foray into non-Cubs material

UPDATE! Shop the Sloth!! No kidding, it was ez to get my very own line of Sloth gear!

On another gray-assed Chicago morning, in which Baby Pedro is now a Brave, Baby Seaver still can't push off his right leg, and Baby Nolan throws for nearly 7 innings in a Spring game, for ricesakes, all I can think about is...

...the Big Game tonight! Duke! Illinois! Live, on CBS!!!

The world is full of Duke fanboys, and I literally put my two cents' worth out on Desipio yesterday. Two cents? Yeah, I whiffed. I sounded like the fat stupid moran that I am.

Why do people hate Duke?

I've heard a lot of comparisons to the Yankees, which really doesn't do it for me. The Yankees can buy the best talent in the world, and there really isn't any proof that Duke does the same thing, although I've never heard any Duke players complain about having to use their laundry money in order to eat, if you catch me. It's more like the Dallas Cowboys, or maybe the Atlanta Braves.

Sure, they win more than most, but really, it's been three titles in 13 years. Impressive, but not exactly UCLA of the late sixties. Sure, Coach K was a typical hypertensively competitive jockstrap who has put himself on a holy pedestal, requiring the university that employs him to build him a palatial office, higher and with a better view than the college chancellor. So do a lot of other college coaches. You don't think Nick Saban has a student manager in charge of washing and disinfecting his dick down in LSU? Sure, they don't recruit, they reload. You can make the same claim about Kentucky, Stanford, Arizona, Kansas, even Illinois to a lesser extent.

But the media, the Bily Packers, the Dick Vitales, the Jay Bilases, CBS, ESPN, blah blah blah blah Duke blah blah greatest blah Coach K blah blah Cameron blah blah...we as Americans generally submit to having something force fed to us, to a point. Then, once we get tired of the same thing, year after year, we start to spit it out, like a toddler with his Maypo.

They may NOT be the favorites to win EVERY year, but damned if CBS, ESPN, and half the announcers in America don't seem to think so. Year after year, all Duke, all the time. And, I don't know if this is a product of a overactive PR department, or just the comfortable, mindless drivel of simpleminded, bald men who watch young boys in shorts run around for a living. But it's no wonder we're all sick of it.

However, I post this today since it's fairly clear to me that although I picked the Illini to beat Duke tonight, this doesn't make it so. I fully expect this to be our swan song, so for all of my fellow alumni, let me just say, once more, with feeling:

EYE-ELL-ELL.....

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