3/02/2004 08:50:00 AM by Rob

American Pharmaceutical Collectors Club

I have another confession to make, one which may (or may not) shock many of you.

I am a card carrying member, in good standing, in the APCC, or American Pharmaceutical Collectors Club. You're not going to find us on the internet, or in the yellow pages, because a lot of what we do may be considered illegal in some states. But we are some 1,100 members strong, and we all share a great passion and love for collecting some of the world's most powerful, lethal, and, yes, beautiful drugs.

Some guys collect beer cans, guns, golf balls, die cast cars. That's all kid stuff. I have a wide array of over 200 of the most powerful antihistamines, diuretics, anti-biotics, anabolic steroids, hallucinogenics, and oncology medicines. Members of the APCC NEVER ingest any of their collection, good lord, because they are so hard to come by without a prescription. APCC members are very strict about only using what we need for our overall health, and ONLY under the guidance of a physician.

I keep them in a special refrigerated display case made for me in France. The case itself was over $20K, so I don't have as much money to devote to my hobby as others might. Some of my fellow collectors come from the professional ranks, including personal injury lawyers, trauma care physicians, Grammy-nominated rock stars, and professional athletes.

Thankfully, my name was excluded from the list of shipments made by Balco Labs, whose founder is currently under indictment in Cali. Balco has been most kind to provide me with many of my prize specimens, including Anadrol , Clenbuterol, Dianabol, Equipoise, Nolvadex, Omnadren, Oxandrolone, Proviron, Stanozolol, and Winstrol. I am currently saving up for my next big purchase, the rare Deca-Durabolin, but it seems that I will have to go overseas again since Balco is being shuttered, which only adds to the S&H.

However, some of my fellow collectors are being unfairly characterized as steroid users today. Barry Bonds, Gary Sheffield, and Jason Giambi are ALL members of the APCC, and I look forward to our annual convention and swap meets, usually held in a warm weather city around New Years.

Hell, it was just this year, down in Gulfport, MS, when I was talking to Shef. I asked him if he thought it was risky for such a high-profile star as he to have such a comprehensive steroid and HGH collection. "Man," he laughed, "the troof will come out in da wash!" Or something like that.

I'm telling you all, Barry and Shef and G, they're all good guys, and good collectors. I can't wait to hit Shef's place when the family and I go down to Orlando next month. He has a whole 750 sq foot room, with inlaid display cases in his walls, with all of his stuff. I may not want to leave, but I don't want to push his hospitality, he might sick his dogs on me not want to get together with me in the future.

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