2/24/2004 11:25:00 AM by Rob

Daddy, why does your head look all funny?

Well, every-fucking-body-else is talking about them today. Bonds denies. Giambi denies. Dusty gets all crusty with nerdyass Brad Palmer. Good for Brad for asking the goddamn question. Didn't think he had those kinda stones. Sam-me is in the House, Uh-mer-eeka! today, he will drag out the bottle of Fred and Barney cheweables.

Look, my recent run-ins with actual bar-passing legaleagles has made me careful of what I say, since I actually have a following. It was different when the only hits I got all day were from Forklift and Stew.

I did not see any ballplayers use steroids. I do not have access to any testing results. (Wouldn't THAT be cool?) All I can do and say is to report what I see.

In 1990, Sosa was a skinny kid. In 1997, he had matured into a 40 homer man. He was bigger, but not freakishly so. In 1998, he gained 10 pounds of muscle. In 1999, he came to camp HUGE!, having gained at least another 15 pounds of muscle. He stayed that way until last year, when he visibly lost at least 15 pounds from his 2002 look. Recently, he made the comment that this winter was the first winter that he worked out in December. Really, since you made such mammoth gains in your body in both 1998 and 1999.

In 1990, Bonds was also a skinny kid. In 1998, he had matured, but not freakishly so. By 2000, he resembled the Michelin man more than his Pirates self. I saw him last night on the news. He has lost a TON of weight, and the skin on his face and scalp was sagging. He has sagging skin on his SKULL!!

Giambi was skinny up until around 1999. He showed up yesterday from camp considerably lighter than last year. Gary Sheffield was a slight ballplayer until a few years back. Luis Gonzalez was a Cub in the early 90s, and he was skinny, with a pencil neck. In 2001, he was BUILT with a thick neck and bulging veins. Lately, he looks more like the Warning Track Looey that we remember as a Cub.

People like Brady Anderson, Albert Belle, Greg Vaughn, Juan Gonzalez as well as Luis Gonzalez have their one "spike" year over 50 homers, and then never approach the record again, usually due to some brittle-type body injuries.

Many of these same stars would like to clear their names, but the union will never let them, because any kind of escalation in drug testing will weaken the union barganing chip of mandatory testing, which doubtless they are planning to trade for some other financial consideration in the future.

So what do I think?

I hate Donald Fehr, Gene Ozra and the union. Unilaterally, positively, absolutely hate them. I an NOT a union guy, and particularly not in this instance. They exist in concert with the agents, in the name of more money for all, and don't give a bleeding nun-fuck about the integrity of the game.

I just threw a hissy-fit about being excluded from something I felt I deserved to belong in. I hate exclusionism of all kinds. If I were a ballplayer good enough on my own merits to play at its highest level, I would find it brutually unfair to have to compete against someone who was using something potentially harmful for an advantage. I would not want to use something that on the short term cause less flexibility, and in the long run cause cancer.

A ballplayer should not have to be forced to risk an early demise in order to hit baseballs further.

Furthermore, a ballplayer should not have to compete against desperate, immoral fucks who have no problem making that choice for themselves.

Drug enhanced hitters should be forced to play in their own games, just like horses on Lasix are forced to run in their own races. Is this exculsionary? No. You can always choose to NOT use steroids. I do not exclude you. You exclude yourself.

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