2/17/2004 08:58:00 AM by Rob

Remember to breathe...

I'm trying REAL hard not to get my blood pressure up today. There's no reason for it, and as an extra precaution, I'm writing this BEFORE I go out to the Cub Cave, I mean Coven, because I don't want Campo flavoring my thoughts for today.

First of all, can we go back to talking about Janet Jackson's tits? Jeebus almighty, is A-Rod to the Yankees good for baseball, bad for baseball, what?

Wanna know what I think? I don't care. Steingrabber can go out and buy the best player at every position, and there STILL isn't any guarantee that these mopes can play together. Suppose they do start out hot. Who's gonna get the credit? A-Wad, or course. Which will piss off widdle Jete...and widdle Giambi...and maybe Matt Suhey doesn't have as many guys following him around...and where does Shef fit in with all of this? What about Vazquez...and Maddux...

Yep, Maddux. Look, there may or may not be any truth about his being courted by the Steingrabber. He may end up here, or in LA. To use one of my kids' favorite sayings, Whatevah...obviously he doesn't have a burning desire to pitch here, or he would have jumped at Hendry's latest offer. To beat the dead horse some more, he is NOT the key to the season, he is NOT going to hurt us much if he is elsewhere, and as long as the Cardinals are out of the running, this isn't going to bother me one bit. Let him ride the Number 7 Subway with the gays, unwed mothers, and Howard Dean. Hope he catches AIDS there, too.

What I want to examine today is resource balancing. In my bizness, we have a whole Inventory Management department. Slow-moving merchandise is marked down, and in-demand items have to be back-ordered. The Cubs are no different, in that they have the following surpluses and deficiencies:

SURPLUSES: Mediocre 2B, Young Unproven SP
SHORTAGES: Hitting C, Hitting SS, Leadoff Man

Now, there are a couple of places that come to mind - the trading partners, NY and Texas, that seem to have needs that we can fill. The Yankees would do flips for Todd Walker, and may even be happy with the Grud. Texas would die for any of the following: Cruz, Z, Clement, Angel Guzman, Wellmeyer, Sergio MeatTray, Brownlie, Sisco, BirdDog Ryu, etc, etc, etc. Basically, everyone except for Wood and Prior, which they CAN'T have.

Does NY have a shortstop prospect, because if so, that poor sumbitch ain't gonna see the light of day unless he gets traded. Or any young catchers? How bout Texas?

Let me know. I'm going to look a little today, as time allows, and hopefully Hendry is doing the same. I assume, actually, that he's chewing his fingernails to nubs waiting for that cockbreath Boras to return his calls.

Hey, Jim. Boreass is in the rotten Apple today, gloating over his latest exploitation of the Bud Selig Success System. So go out, get some air, and let Panama Jack Hughes scour over some of the Ranger and Yankee farm team reports.

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