1/22/2004 08:56:00 AM by Rob

Some things are meant to be

I wish I were writing today about the cosmic pairing of Greg Maddux, who is still at this point the finest pitcher we have ever drafted, and the Cubs.

But the most cosmic pairing I have at my disposal today is Darius Miles and The Portland Trail Blazers.

Noone, nobody, noway, personnifies the hip-hop style of the "new" NBA than this guy. Allen Iverson has results. LeBron James has talent oozing out of his pores. Tracy McGrady is actually very quiet. No, if you want to find the prime example, the ultimate specimen of Style over Substance, look no further than the 4th year pro from East St. Looie, who should be a senior in college, or who should be selling crack around the strip clubs in Sauget.

This son-of-a-bitch can't and won't do anything but flush, and talk and dress like he was just dragged off from Central Casting of "Barbershop 2". He had a good thing going with the Clips, because nobody gave a fuck what he, Odom, Q and Magette did. He got sent to Cleveland, tho, who is run by John Paxson's brother, Jim, who is a little older and more uptight than John, if that's possible.

So now he has finally come home, to the NBA Penetentiary for Men. Sheed. The Nanny-Stopper. Zach Randolph, the Beat-down Master. Damon (tin-foil) Stoudamire. Qyntel Woods, who is trying single-handedly to out-do them all. The former NBA home of Bonzi Wells, the 2nd Craziest Man in the L.

How long is it going to take until they feel they must have Ron (Rottweiler) Artest?

Sit back, fire up the big blue Graphic. This is gonna be sweet.

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