1/21/2004 01:02:00 PM by Rob

George Bush, Sammy Sosa, Rick Telander and...Vince McMahon?

Well, hey, here's the drill. I hate Sammy Sosa. Many of you think I am just nuckin futs for feeling that way, but he is a liar, a proven cheat, and most of the stuff that rolls out of his swollen mouth just doesn't add up.

The issue that would not die, Steroids, got a new life last night when Dubya thought it was proper to include a plea to "major league sports" to stop using steroids. Well, first off, and I leave it to about a billion other blogs to flesh this out in further detail, but doesn't he have bigger things to worry about than whether sports are clean?

Of course, we all know that football HAS a steroid policy, and they really aren't useful in the basketball world. Who gives a rat's ass about hockey? We all know that Dubya used to own the Texas Rodriguezes. Anybody with a 3rd grade reading level can see through the bullshit and figure out that Bush is speaking directly at Baseball!

So it's big news again, so Rick Telander was compelled to write about it today, as a refreshing change of pace from his usual bitching about the Dartmouth swimteam. And we were reminded again why Rick used to be really good. He quotes Dusty Baker, who says that he talked to Sosa, who is gushing that he is (I added bold type for emphasis) "so excited about this coming season, that he is lifting in December for the first time!"

That's a BIG fucking problem to me. This is the same guy who blew up like a puffin between the end of 1997 and 1999, two years where he smacked 66 and 63 dongs. This guy was asked what he was taking, and he said "Flintstones". He said he took nothing but vitamins, and he added nothing but hard work during the offseason.

Well, let's see. All this offseason hard work. In the world of Sammy Sosa, the offseason doesn't really start until November, after the playoffs (of 1998), after making all sorts of appearences, visiting The Donald, visiting the President of the Dominican Republic, and working on his charitable foundation. Yeah.

The offseason ends later for Sam than most guys, since he doesn't show up until the last possible moment. But we're only talking Nov-Dec-Jan- most of Feb, at that time he starts his long trek back to His House in Amereeka.

Do you mean to tell me that he gained over 30 pounds of muscle, in less than TWO months, aided only by Fred & Barney?

I don't mean to go all anal about this, but Sammy Sosa is a sideshow fraud, a cheat, a liar, a performance enhancement user, who lacks the most basic moral fiber. What does this matter to us? Well, if the league all of a sudden, or even gradually, decides to really HAVE a drug policy, one that takes into account not only steroids, but THG, HGH, and anything else they can cook up, then our boy is in a world of hurt.

If he's a 30 homer guy without the juice, then doesn't that differ from the 60 homer guy he has been for years? Isn't that quite a great loss to the entire TEAM, if they suddenly lose 30 HRS and 60 RBI of production...if Sammy Sosa suddenly becomes Derrek Lee? We were counting on Sammy Sosa out in right...what's this pale imitator doing there?

Every manager will tell you that he needs to know who he can count on, and if he gets more than he counted on, great. But they all feel so much better when they have a BASE level of production to plan around. I feel Sosa is stealing this from us when he dabbles in drugs.

Now are some of you starting to see why I feel the way I do?

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